


Like an Angel on your Shoulder

by clotpoleofthelord (plantainleaf)



Series: Jimmy!verse [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon Compliant, Episode: s08e23 Sacrifice, Fallen Castiel, M/M, Other, shipper!Jimmy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-21
Updated: 2013-05-21
Packaged: 2017-12-12 12:14:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/811486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plantainleaf/pseuds/clotpoleofthelord
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He’s excited to see you, Jimmy says smugly (because when you’re a disembodied voice in an angel’s newly-human brain, you take what joy you can), He wants to show you things. I told you he wanted you here.</p><p>Perhaps you’re right, replied Cas evenly, but that doesn’t necessarily mean I should have come.</p><p>Jimmy didn’t have a response to that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired partly by Misha Collins answering drownedinblissfulconfusion’s Jimmy Novak question at NJCon and saying he’s still in Cas’s head, alone and screaming - I’m going to be optimistic and am assuming he’s screaming something like “JUST KISS HIM YOU IDIOT”.
> 
> Also somewhat inspired by crackedchassis's Jimmy Novak talk. Sorry it's not multimisha orgies.
> 
> Title thanks to drownedinblissfulconfusion!
> 
> Banner thanks to cliffnotesofanerd!
> 
> HUGE thank you to cliffnotesofanerd, drownedinblissfulconfusion, and deanhugchester for betaing/listening to me whine about this fix (actually, thanks to my whole dash for that).
> 
> Sort-of warning for character death - see the end for spoilery specifics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimmy Novak never asked to be riding shotgun inside the newly-human brain of an angel. But here he is, trying to teach Castiel everything he needs to know for life on Earth before they can take on Heaven.

__

_I’m alone._ Cas watched the lights fall around him. _My brothers and sisters are fallen. I can’t hear them._ Cas’s despair filled his mind as silence pounded in his head and he sank to his knees. _I have no one left. No songs. No voices._ He hung his head, tears flowing down his cheeks and dripping onto the ground.

 _I’m still here,_ Jimmy’s voice came from just beyond the edge of his consciousness, closer than he’d ever been when Cas was still an angel. _I can still hear you, you know. So at least you’ve got me._

Jimmy felt Cas start. _Jimmy? You’re still here? How is that possible?_

 _Yeah. I’m still here. I don’t know why._ Cas felt the whisper of a sigh. _What happened?_ Jimmy prodded at their newly human brain. _Is it just me, or is there a lot less room in here than there used to be? I blacked out when Metatron grabbed us._ He huffed. _Which, by the way, I warned you was going to happen. That guy was bad news._

 _Jimmy, I... I thought you had gone to heaven when my grace was taken. How can you still be here?_ said Cas, incredulous.

Jimmy shrugged phantom shoulders. _I dunno. I just woke up here again._ He continued to prod at his surroundings. _Castiel, are we... are we_ human _?_

Discomfort, sorrow and what felt like guilt rolled off the angel’s presence in waves. _We are._

Jimmy was speechless for a moment. He felt Cas begin to retreat further into their shared mind, and he reached out a limb of thought to stop him from disappearing into himself. _Castiel..._ his phantom throat swallowed. _What are we going to do?_

Cas sighed. _I don’t know._ He shifted uncomfortably, feeling his body demand something from him. _What is this sensation?_

Spreading his awareness through the body, Jimmy smiled slightly. It was going to be a hell of a task teaching the angel how to deal with a human body. _You’ve got to pee, Castiel._ He looked around. They were in some sort of forest, surrounded by tall trees. The air had a crisp bite, but it wasn’t too cold. He mentally gestured towards a tree on the edge of the clearing. _There. Head to that tree and unzip your fly._  

Cas huffed and complied, fingers slipping on the stiff zipper. _This is frustrating. I don’t enjoy this feeling of urgency._  

 _No one does._ If Jimmy had eyes, he would be rolling them really hard.

Cas finally got the zipper down.

 _Great. Now reach inside and pull your-,_ he paused, _pull our penis out._ He shook his phantom head and muttered, _just when I thought my life couldn’t get weirder._

Cas navigated boxers and fly successfully, and stood waiting for further instructions.

_Seriously? You’ve seen people do this before, I know you have. You’ve watched Dean do this (and that was weird for me, let me tell you). Do I really need to walk you through this?_

_Watching is very different from experiencing the physical sensations and learning to control the particular muscles, Jimmy._ His voice had a not-particularly-well-contained edge of annoyance. _I have never done this before._

Jimmy sighed. _Just let go. Relax the muscles, ok? It’s what our body wants._

Cas did. _Oh! That is satisfying._ He smiled.

Jimmy laughed. _Yeah. I guess being human won’t be all bad. At least you get to pee._

 _Yes._ Cas replied dryly. _That is certainly a benefit._

\-----

Jimmy woke with a start as light flowed into their shared eyes. _Huh. That doesn’t usually happen._

Cas’s internal voice sounded apologetic. _I’m sorry, Jimmy. It seems that without my grace, I can’t shield you from my experiences._

 _That’s okay, Cas. It’s kind of nice to be woken up by the sun for once, actually._ Jimmy peered out of their eyes. _What now?_

 _I... I don’t know._ The hopelessness was back in Cas’s voice. _I don’t know where we are. Or what to do._

_Can you look around? We can at least see what kind of forest this is._

Cas spun slowly, eyes wide. _Before this I would be able to pinpoint my location instantly. I could tell where every creature was, and see every blade of grass. Now... now I’m lost._

 _Hold on a second. Turn back a little. Can I see that tree closer up?_ Cas complied, stepping forward. _I was a Boy Scout, you know._ Jimmy remembered standing in woods very much like these, holding a guidebook and laughing with friends. _Almost got enough badges to be an Eagle Scout before I met Amelia and we got pregnant with Claire. And I’m pretty sure that right there is a scarlet oak._

 _So what does that mean?_ Cas was catching a bit of his excitement.

 _It means we’re in North America, at least. Somewhere east of the Mississippi, if I remember my trees right._ He focused in on the grasses at the base of the tree. _Can you lean over so I can see that cluster better?_ Jimmy smiled. His instincts had been right. _Prairie clover, horsetail, poppymallow..._ Jimmy felt a lump rise in what would be his throat if he had his own body. _Cas, I  think we’re home._ He paused. _My home, that is. Illinois._

Cas stood up quickly, a wave of sorrow crossing their mind. _Jimmy, I-_

 _I know, Castiel. We can’t see my family._ He sighed. _I wouldn’t want to, anyway. They deserve... they deserve a life without all this._ The sorrow was overtaken by guilt. Jimmy didn’t quite have it in himself to comfort the angel for that, so remained silent. After a moment, Cas let out an audible sigh, saying, _I hear water running. We should follow it. Perhaps it will lead us to a town of some sort._

\-----

As they neared the small town, Jimmy watched the traffic pass with hungry eyes. He knew Fairbury; Claire had played softball with a girl whose house was just a few blocks down the road. They’d shared an ice cream at that shop, he and Amelia, on their third date. His heart clenched as they passed the high school. Claire would be in high school now, and she would know some of these kids milling around, if she and Amelia even lived in Pontiac anymore. He wondered if any of them had been to their house, if they’d seen pictures of him from when they were a family. He hoped not.

He felt Cas fidget anxiously and got a grip on himself. _We should find a payphone. Do you know Dean’s cell phone number?_

Cas pulled his own phone from their pocket. It was smashed, bits of plastic and glass hanging from it in shreds. _It was stored in here._ As he spoke, the battery cover slipped off and fell to the ground. _I don’t think we can retrieve it._

Jimmy sighed. _Do we have any money? Wait, don’t just pull my wallet out in the street._ He spotted the park to his left. _Turn there. There’s a bench a ways back._

Sitting on the bench, Cas pulled out the wallet. Jimmy tried not to feel invaded by the angel’s casual riffling through his possessions; it was absurd to feel that way, he knew, given that he didn’t even have his own body anymore. He even knew that Dean had probably looked through the wallet in the year he’d kept the coat in his trunk. But somehow watching passively as Cas flipped past his pictures of baby Claire, he and Amelia at their wedding, and the three of them in their old church photo seemed like more of an invasion than losing control of his body had in years.

Sensing his distress, Cas paused and flipped back to the portrait. _If I get my grace back, I will take you to see them, if you would like. We will have to remain invisible, but you could see how your daughter has grown._

If Jimmy had had eyes, they would be filling with tears. _No, Castiel. I can’t. Please, just... just put them away, alright?_

Cas moved on, covering the pictures with credit cards and receipts. Jimmy tried to look away, close his eyes, but couldn’t. Finally, Cas pulled open the billfold and pulled out the bills, counting $173. Reaching into his pockets, he added coins to the pile, making their total net worth $174.28. 

 _Good thing I’d just gone to the ATM when this whole thing started._ Jimmy smiled, feeling a little more hopeful. _What now?_

 _We will need food tonight, I believe; I’m starting to experience hunger._ Cas sounded irate. _Human bodies have many needs._

_We’re also going to need a place to sleep tonight. But first let’s figure out who we can call to get us in touch with Sam and Dean._

Cas paused in his examination of a Wendy’s receipt. _Sam and Dean?_ His voice was cautious.

_Yes, Sam and Dean! You know, the Winchesters? The only people who might be able to help us out? Or who would want to?_

_I know who they are._ Cas still struggled with rhetorical questions. _I don’t think it would be wise to contact them._ His calm voice couldn’t mask the emotions roiling in him.

_Why the hell not?_

_I have no powers! I can’t be helpful to them. They don’t need another human to take care of._

_Castiel. I know you’re an angel from the dawn of time, but you are an idiot._

_What?_

_They’re your friends. They’re probably worried about you. They probably think you’re dead._

_Maybe that’s for the best._ Cas stood. _I don’t want to complicate their lives further._

_No. Cas, you are not going to let them think you’re dead. You need to contact them. Maybe they can even help you get your grace back._

_I don’t want to be a burden._ The words slipped out, almost unbidden. Jimmy felt Cas’s eyes go wide.

_Yeah. I know. But with the mess in Heaven that Metatron’s probably causing right now, don’t you think they need someone with inside knowledge? Given recent history, seems like they’re likely to be the ones cleaning that up. They need you for that, at least._

Cas wavered. _Perhaps._

Jimmy raised a phantom fist in victory. _Now. How are we going to contact them?_

Cas thought for a moment. _Jody Mills. The Sheriff in Sioux Falls. Would she have a phone number we could find?_

_Yes! I’m sure she does._

\-----

Twenty minutes, one call to a very confused operator and two hamburgers later, they were connected to the Sioux Falls Sheriff’s Department.

“Hello, Sioux Falls Sheriff. This is Maggie, how can I help you?”

_What should I say?_

_Ask her if Sheriff Mills is available._ _Quick, before she hangs up!_

“Hello. I would like to speak to Jody Mills. Is she available?” _Was that all right?_

 _Yeah. Keep it natural._  

“What’s this about? Is this an emergency?”

_Is it?_

_No. Tell her you’re calling about her... nephews, Sam and Dean._

“I’m calling regarding Sam and Dean, her nephews. May I speak with her?”

“One moment, hun.” The phone clicked for a few seconds, then the voice returned. “I’ll put you through to her.”

_Say thank you!_

“Thank y-” the phone call transferred.

“Sheriff Jody Mills, how can I help you?”

“Sheriff Mills, my name is Castiel.”

There was a pause. “Castiel? Dean’s angel Castiel?”

 _Dean’s angel?_ asked Cas. _I’m an angel of the Lord, not of a man._

Jimmy smiled. _Whose lead have you been following for the last five years? The Lord’s, or Dean’s?_

Cas’s silence was reply enough. 

“Hello?” Jody’s voice was worried. “Everything all right, Castiel?”

“No." Cas paused. "Do you know how to contact Sam and Dean? I don’t know where they are.”

“Can’t you just snap your fingers or flap your wings and find them?” They could hear papers rustling in the background. 

“No.”

“All right then.” She read off a number and an address. “They’re in some sort of secret bunker. I’m warning you, though; I think it’s got some sort of angel-proof signs on it. From what I’ve heard, no one but humans get in.”

 _Not gonna be a problem for us right now, right?_ asked Jimmy.

_It’s unlikely. Last time Dean altered the wards specifically with a symbol of my name, but even if that has faded, my lack of grace will make entry easy._

“Thank you, Sheriff. You have been very helpful.” Cas started to hang the phone up when Jody’s voice came across the line again.

“You tell them to stay in touch, okay? I haven’t heard from them in a while and I worry sometimes. I’ve got a few weird cases here that they might be interested in, too, so you just tell them to give me a call.”

“I will do that. Thank you, Sheriff.”

“No problem. Hope we get to meet in person some time.” The phone buzzed with an empty tone.

_All right, so we have a number. Ready to call them?_

Cas hesitated. _I would prefer to wait until we’re closer to their new home._

_Why?_

Cas was silent.

_You’re just putting it off. I can tell. Man up, Castiel. Call them._

_No. Not tonight. We need to find accommodation for the night, and then a bus station to take us to Kansas._

Jimmy thought for a moment. _The nearest Greyhound stop is in Bloomington. It’s a few miles down 55. There should be some cheap places to stay there, too._ He sighed as Cas shut the telephone booth behind them. _It’s a long walk. We better get moving._

\-----

Sitting on a bus from Bloomington, IL to Kearney, NE meant nearly fifteen hours of travel on a nearly-empty bus. The ticket and the motel had brought their funds down to under $20 and Jimmy was honestly getting a little worried. As they pulled into the Kearney depot, Cas stood. 

_Castiel, please tell me you're going to call Dean. We can’t afford another night in a motel, and I don’t think you have a resume ready to get a job._

Cas sighed. _Yes. I’m calling them._ He took a breath and let it out in a huff. _I believe you were right. They will need my help to remove Metatron from power._

Cas took a deep breath, hands shaking, and dialed the number Jody had given him on the payphone. It rang twice, and then a voice answered.

“Hello?” It took Cas a moment to place it.

“Kevin?”

“Castiel? Oh my god! Dean will be so relieved! We thought you were dead, man!” Jimmy could hear the smile in his voice, even if Cas couldn’t.

_See? Knowing you’re alive makes them happy._

Cas ignored him.

“Where are you? Dean’s running errands right now and Sam’s asleep. Do you want me to wake him up?”

“No, don’t wake him.”

“I’ll have Dean call you back in a few minutes then, okay? Just... stay by the phone.” Kevin paused. “It’s really good to hear from you, Cas. Dean’s been... upset. It’ll be good for him to know you’re ok.” Kevin hung up.

Cas stared at the phone in his hand for a moment, wondering why it was shaking. 

_It’s not the phone, Castiel. It’s your hands. It’s adrenaline. You’re nervous._

Cas hung the phone in its cradle and shoved his hands in his pockets, frowning. _I’m not nervous._

_Yes, you are. You’re nervous about talking to Dean, aren’t you?_

_No!_  

Jimmy chuckled. _I’m inside your head, you know. I can tell when you’re lying, especially now that it’s a human head._

Cas was silent. Jimmy was pretty sure this counted as pouting. Before he could tell this to Cas, though, the phone rang.

Cas stared at it for a moment.

 _Pick the damn phone up, Castiel!_ yelled Jimmy. _We can’t just sit here in Nebraska with no money and no one to turn to!_

Cas picked up the phone. “Hello.”

“Cas?! Cas, is that you?” Dean’s voice was frantic. “Where are you? What happened? Why didn’t you answer my prayers? Man, I thought you were dead!”

Cas leaned against the wall of the telephone booth. “I fell, Dean. Metatron took my grace and closed Heaven.”

Dean was silent a moment. “Where are you?”

Cas looked around at the signs, then down at his ticket. “I’m in Kearney, Nebraska. I’m outside a Quizno’s Sub restaurant.” He gave the address.

He could hear Dean moving around across the line. “Just stay put, Cas. I’ll be there in an hour and a half.” The clattering stopped. “Cas... I’m really glad you’re all right. I’ll see you soon.” He hung up, and Cas slumped down the wall, hands crossed over his chest. 

_I didn’t realize adrenaline’s effects were so unpleasant. My heart rate is abnormally high and I believe I am perspiring._

_Yeah, you are._ Jimmy paused. _Speaking of human stuff, can we go grab a sandwich? You gotta remember, humans need to eat at least once a day. Preferably three times._

Cas huffed. _Fine._

\-----

They heard the growl of the Impala long before it rounded the corner. Cas jumped up and stood on the curb, watching as it came around the bend in the road. It screeched to a halt in front of him and the door flew open. A shape barreled out and around the car, stopped a foot from their feet.

“Cas...” Dean’s voice was broken, choked. He stared into Cas’s face, wonder warring with sorrow on his face. His eyes glittered with tears, and all at once he surged forward, wrapping his arms around the angel.

 _Hug him back, Castiel. He needs it._ Jimmy told him. _And so do we._

Carefully, hands trembling, Cas raised his arms and wrapped them around Dean’s back, just below Dean’s own arms. He squeezed carefully, unsure how much pressure to apply.

A warm feeling filled them, and Jimmy felt Cas’s relax as his tension melted away.

“Dean...” His voice was muffled in Dean’s collar. “It is good to see you.”

Dean laughed wetly, and Jimmy felt the realization spread through Cas that Dean’s eyes were damp against their neck. “It’s good to see you too, buddy.” 

Cas pulled him closer, arms tightening of their own volition. His shoulders began to shake and a hitch rose in his throat.

_What is happening, Jimmy? I can’t control my body! Why am I crying?_

_You’re just feeling a lot of things right now, Castiel. That’s how humans react. You’re crying because you’re happy, and relieved. Maybe even because you feel safe._ Jimmy reached out a phantom hand to Cas. _Because someone cares about you, and you care about him._

Jimmy stayed still for a few moments, feeling Cas shake. He didn’t really want to admit just how good this felt for him as well. Jimmy was a tactile guy; he always had been. With friends, with Amelia, with Claire, he never hesitated to reach out with a hand on a shoulder, a hug, a slap on the back. But now... He’d been Castiel’s vessel for years, and in all that time, Dean was just about the only one who touched him with affection, and Jimmy craved that touch. He melted into it, feeling knots he didn’t know were tying him up unravel and drift away.

Slowly, Cas’s sobs faded. He raised his head slightly from Dean’s soaked shoulder and realized Dean had been holding him tight the whole time, one hand on his back and the other stroking the back of his head as he whispered, “It’s gonna be ok, Cas. I got you. We’re going home.”

As he began to pull away, Dean’s arms tightened fractionally, then released him, stepping back until his hands rested against Cas’s biceps. “It’s really good to see you, Cas,” he said again, gruffly. “Let’s go home.”

\-----

The ride home was quiet.

Dean drove with an eye on the road and the other on Cas. He looked afraid that if he glanced away too long the angel would disappear again. Cas dozed against the window, exhausted from his fall, miles of walking and a day-long bus trip. Jimmy, wide awake, watched them both and thought.

He thought about Amelia, and the looks she gave him when he was ill. He thought about the time he fell off a ladder and broke his arm, and her face when she rushed into the hospital to find him awake and aware. That’s the look he saw on Dean’s face now: fear, relief, and desperate, desperate hope.

Jimmy knew that Cas loved Dean. He'd come to accept that. And in those years, he'd learned why that was. Dean was fiercely loyal, funny, and strangely sweet to those he cared about. He was ruthless in the pursuit of a goal, but as much a loving parent to Sam as any Jimmy had known. He'd helped Cas see himself as an individual, and to see that his doubts weren't a curse but a sign of free will.  He’d shown Cas that having a human form could be nice, through food and music and friendship, and in doing so had unknowingly cared for Jimmy’s needs as well.

Jimmy wasn’t sure when Castiel’s love for Dean had bled over into his side of their shared space, but it had happened.

It’s not the love he feels for his family. He loves Amelia and Claire desperately, hopelessly, and what he feels for Dean isn’t that. 

It’s smaller than that, warmer. It’s love for the only person to treat him as separate from the comet he’s been chained to for years. It’s love for the only person to show him affection, even if it’s not directed at him. And it’s a kind of love that can’t help but develop when your eyes are controlled by someone who loves him with every fiber of his being.

When Castiel looked at Dean before he fell, Jimmy could see a glimpse of what Cas saw in his soul. He could see a sort of glow around every person, some smooth, some hard, with colors and shapes and cracks and smudges. All were beautiful in their own way, but Dean... Dean was different.

Despite the scars and the bruises and the shadows of self-doubt and bitterness, Jimmy knew from the conversations he and Cas had had over the years that Dean’s soul shone brighter than any Castiel had ever seen. It glimmered like pearl and pulsed with every emotion that passed through him. Castiel had been interested from the moment he spotted its glow in Hell, intrigued as soon as Dean met his eyes, and lost the second Dean listened to his doubts so seriously and told him of his own. 

Now the second sight was gone, faded back into hiding when Cas’s grace was taken. But somehow, Dean still glowed. His joy, though Jimmy knew it wasn’t for him, but for the angel riding shotgun in his body, seemed to radiate outwards and warm all the beings in the car.

Jimmy had no chance to resist him. 

\-----

They pulled up to the bunker, and Jimmy prodded gently at Cas’s dozing consciousness but got no response. He felt the seat shift lightly and a hand drift across their hair.

“Cas.” whispered Dean. “We’re here, buddy. Time to wake up.”

Sometimes Jimmy pretended the tenderness in Dean’s voice and hands was for him. He knew it wasn’t, of course, but this was his body first. He couldn’t help but respond to that tone and that touch. 

Cas slowly woke, and his eyes fluttered open. Jimmy drank in the sight of Dean’s smiling face as Cas worked his way to awareness.

 _We’re here. Time to get up, Castiel. Don’t leave Dean waiting._ Jimmy felt Cas stretch their body, rolling their neck side to side to work out the kinks. Pain shot through their head, but faded quickly.

Dean was already out of the car, opening Cas’s door. “Come on, lemme show you our place. You didn’t really get the tour last time.” Dean’s face was split with a grin. “Sammy and Kevin wanna say hi, and we cleared out a room for you.”

 _He’s excited to see you,_ Jimmy says smugly, because when you’re a disembodied voice in an angel’s newly-human brain, you take what joy you can, _he wants to show you things. I told you he wanted you here._

 _Perhaps you’re right,_ replied Cas evenly, _but that doesn’t necessarily mean I should have come._

Jimmy didn’t have a response to that.

\-----

Cas shivered as they passed through the bunker door. It didn’t repel him, exactly; not like it would have had he still been in possession of his grace, but he still felt the tingle of old warding magic as they crossed the threshold. The blood that spelled his name had faded from the wall, and he wasn’t sure the change to humanity was enough to make him welcome.

 _You all right?_ Jimmy had felt it too, a force pressing the two of them closer together and examining them for signs of anything other than humanity. He got the feeling Cas was almost disappointed that the wards didn’t trigger. 

 _I’m fine._ Cas said tersely, tense again. Jimmy backed off and retreated into his own corner of their head.

“Come on, Cas!” called Dean, backtracking to them. Jimmy realized they’d frozen just inside the bunker. A warm arm wrapped around their shoulders and Dean walked them into the main room of the lair.

His first impression was that it looked like a gigantic library. His second impression was that the maps hung everywhere were like the oldest maps of his childhood schools, the Soviet Union stretching wide, and the maps of the US had only 48 states. His third impression was that two very differently sized shapes were rushing at him.

Sam hit first, clapping a huge hand to Cas’s shoulder. “Welcome back, Cas. We missed you.”

“Thank you for having me in your home,” replied Cas.

_No need to be so formal, you know. They said you were welcome here._

_I don’t wish to overstep my bounds. This is their family’s home, not mine._

_Dean’s called you family before, remember? Family includes you, for them. Besides,_ he continued as the smaller shape pushed past and smiled at them, _Kevin’s here, and you’ve been in the family a lot longer._

Cas ignored him and gave Kevin a tentative smile, hoping his aggression of earlier might be someday forgiven. Kevin’s grin in response gave him hope.

Dean kept his arm around them as they continued down a side hallway and through a door, into a cosy bedroom. “I set this up for you, in case you ever came by.” Dean sounded hopeful. “We found some paintings of trees and stuff and stuck them on the walls. And the sheets have bees on them. Sam thought that was pretty funny. And there’re some books we thought you might like, too-” Dean shut his mouth suddenly, as if he’d just realized he’d been babbling. “Anyway. It’s yours, so if you want to change it that’s fine. My room’s just down the hall if you need anything.” He pulled away towards the door, then halted. “Cas... I missed you. I’m real glad you called. This-” he gestured around the room, “this is your home, too, if you want it to be.” He slipped out of the room quickly and shut the door.

Cas walked to the bed and sat on it, unsure what to do. The only times he’d slept in the past, besides last night’s pure exhaustion, were almost never on purpose. He’d dozed in the Impala, or after being wounded, but this idea of settling down for the night and willing yourself to sleep? That was new.

Carefully, he pulled off his coat, jacket and shoes, laying them against the chair by the bed. Next came his pants, tie and shirt, leaving him in only his boxers and undershirt.

A knock sounded on the door, then Dean’s voice drifted through. “I’m leaving a towel and some spare clothes that might fit you outside, ok? Bathroom’s two doors down on the left.”

 _Should we shower?_ asked Jimmy, but Cas was already starting to tip onto the bed. _Castiel!_ Cas opened a bleary eye.  _Under the covers at least, man._ Cas complied, wigging underneath the sheets, which were indeed emblazoned with cartoon bees.

_Goodnight, Jimmy._

_Goodnight, Castiel._

\-----

Jimmy awoke suddenly as a creak sounded. Castiel flailed awake as well, panicked by the sudden flood of adrenaline through his body, and rolled off the bed to the floor with a thump. As his heart rate began to slow, body startled out of its panic by the pain of the landing, he looked up into Dean’s frozen face.

“Cas, you ok?” He knelt down and reached out a tentative hand. “I was just making sure you were all right. Didn’t mean to scare you.” His hand fell to rest on their shoulder.

 _Are you all right?_ asked Jimmy, sending waves of comfort towards Cas. _Take deep breaths, calm down. It’s just Dean checking on you. Nothing to panic about._

 _My heart beat is alarmingly fast._ Cas’s voice held notes of confusion and fear. _I was dreaming about Heaven, but all the angels were frogs and couldn’t talk to me. It was very disconcerting._

Jimmy snorted at that. _Glad you’ve got the weird dreams part of being human down, at least. See, you’re getting better at this human thing every day. Now let Dean know you’re ok._

“I’m fine, Dean. You just surprised me from a strange dream.”

“Oh yeah? Wanna talk about it?” Dean slid his arms under Cas’s and helped him back up onto the bed.

“Not particularly, no.” Cas lay down, pulling the sheets over himself. “Dean...”

“Yeah, Cas?” Dean was standing, reluctant to leave.

JImmy felt Cas hesitate, and gave him a mental push. _Just get it out, Castiel. He’s not gonna say no._

“Can you stay for a few minutes?” Cas looked at the ceiling as he asked, unable to look at Dean.

Jimmy heard the smile in Dean’s voice as he moved closer and sat on the bed, “Yeah. I’ll be right here.” He felt the warmth radiating off of Dean’s back, inches from their side, and smiled. His life wasn’t ideal; it was so far from ideal, in fact, that he couldn’t really even measure it. But there were moments when it wasn’t all bad, he supposed.

He felt Castiel lean closer to Dean, curling on his side. They’d never talked about it, he and Cas, this thing with Dean. He wondered if Cas even knew he was in love with Dean. Jimmy smiled, struck with a thought. Cas’s body was human, now; they might have to deal with the reactions to Cas’s (and, because he was honest with himself, his) attraction to Dean. His smile faded when he realized that he was probably going to be the one who had to teach Cas to jerk off. He sighed. Maybe Dean will take on that responsibility, he thought hopefully.

Scanning Cas’s thoughts, he shook his phantom head. Probably not.

\-----

Jimmy awoke to a warm weight across their back and a band of heat over their waist. For just a moment, before Cas opened their eyes, he could imagine this was his bed, and that was Amelia.  A wave of longing swept through him, for his home, his wife, his daughter, his life, and he curled himself tighter in his corner of their space.

 _Jimmy?_ Cas was blinking awake inside their head. _Is something wrong?_

 _Just leave me alone, Castiel,_ replied Jimmy.  _Just... I just need some time with my own thoughts, okay?_

Cas backed away quietly, directing his attention back outwards, and froze when he felt the arms around him. Turning his head slightly, he was confronted with a soundly sleeping Dean, who had fallen asleep while sitting with them the night before. Dean’s body lay over the blankets and he was shivering slightly. 

Cas turned in Dean’s grip until he could look the hunter in the face comfortably. Dean looked peaceful like this. Cas had always liked watching Dean sleep; it was the only time he could look at Dean’s face for as long as he wanted to without Dean getting flustered or embarrassed or angry. And here, from only inches away, Dean was beautiful.

Jimmy watched Cas’s thoughts for a while as they gazed at Dean’s closed eyes, and finally couldn’t take it. _Castiel._

Cas focused inwards instantly. _Yes, Jimmy?_

_You know you’re in love with him, right?_

Silence, then: _I... I don’t know. I can’t... I don’t want to..._

_Stop it. You are. And unless I’m very, very mistaken, he’s in love with you too._

Dean chose that moment to stir, stretch and open his eyes. “Cas?!” He flailed and Cas caught him with arms around his waist, keeping him from being the second person to fall off the bed that night. He pulled him close, enjoying the warmth and the feeling of Dean’s body against his. “Cas...” Dean’s voice was clearer, with a pained note.

_Kiss him, Castiel. He wants you to, but he doesn’t think you will._

_I don’t know if it would be welcome._

_Trust me, it will be. Just lean forward and put your lips on his._

Jimmy felt them shift, slowly, and watched Dean’s eyes widen. Cas paused for just a moment, millimeters from Dean, then pressed his lips to the human’s and pulled back.

Dean was staring at him, lips parted, pupils dilated. Jimmy could feel the fast beat of his heart under their hand and the warm gust of his breath on their face.

“Cas...” this time the name was breathed out, nearly silent, as Dean drew in a sharp inhalation, pulled Cas closer, roughly, and crashed their mouths together.

Adrenaline flooded their system again, but this time Cas wasn’t complaining. He melted into the kiss, hands clutching the back of Dean’s shirt, eyes drifting closed. Jimmy rode the wave of sensation, overwhelmed and overjoyed, both for Cas and Dean and for himself.

Dean kicked down the blankets until the only thing between them were two tee shirts and two pairs of swiftly-tenting boxers. He rolled on top of Cas, planted an elbow on either side of the angel’s face, and kissed him deeply.

_Touch him, Castiel. Put your hands under his shirt._

Cas did so, unclenching his fists from Dean’s shirt and sliding shaking fingers under his clothes to stroke along his bare back. Dean groaned and buried his head in Cas’s neck, nuzzling the skin there. Cas’s hand slipped lower, beneath the hem of Dean’s boxers, and brushed the top of his ass.

_Lower, Castiel. Go lower. He wants to feel you everywhere._

Cas’s hand slid down, gently brushing Dean’s buttocks and along the crease of his thigh. Dean shuddered and slid a hand down to wrap around Cas’s hip, grinding their cocks together as he did so. 

_Oh! That’s! Jimmy, what do I do? These feelings..._

_Just do what your instincts tell you, Castiel. lift your hips and rub against his. Make him feel good. Make all of us feel good._

Cas concentrated, grinding his hips against Dean, who shuddered and thrust back.

_Like that?_

_Yeah._ Jimmy was feeling overwhelmed, consumed by the secondhand pleasure. _Just like that._

_Thank you, Jimmy._

“Cas?” Dean was looking at them curiously, and Jimmy realized they’d paused while they spoke. Usually they could carry on a conversation while Cas did other things with their body, but he guessed this had been too much to concentrate.

“I’m fine, Dean.” Cas was breathing hard. “Jimmy was just-”

 _No, don’t tell him!_ Jimmy yelled, but it was too late-

“-just instructing me on the appropriate responses.”

Dean drew back, scrambling against the sheets. “Jimmy? Wait, Jimmy’s still in there?!”

“Yes, he remains my vessel, though it’s more complicated -he would say crowded- now that our brain is fully human.”

_Sorry, Castiel. I should have warned you not to mention me._

_Why not? You are a part of me, now._

Surprised, Jimmy replied, _That’s how you think of me?_

_What else would you be? You are an integral part of my human experience and my human body._

_You mean, MY human body,_ Jimmy said with a smile - it was an old argument between them, one that had long ago lost its bite.

_Our body. I did not anticipate Dean’s reaction to your presence. Why is he so upset?_

“Cas, you can’t just not tell someone you’re in bed with that there’s a third person there!” yelled Dean, unknowingly answering Cas’s question.

“Jimmy has been a part of me since we met, Dean. I assumed you knew he was here.”

“No, Cas, I didn’t _assume_ that there was _another person in your brain_ who was giving you pointers on sex!”

Cas cocked his head. “He was giving pointers on what I believed you’d call ‘groping’, not on sex.”

Dean rolled on his back and threw up his hands. “Great! So you have a dude in your head and he’s telling you to grab my ass. That’s just... great.” He crossed his arms over his chest and frowned.

Jimmy looked through their eyes down the line of Dean’s body and smirked. As much as he’d complained about Jimmy’s presence, the tent in Dean’s boxers hadn’t abated; in fact, it seemed to be rising even higher.

_Castiel?_

_Yes, Jimmy?_

_Can I talk to Dean through you for a minute?_

Cas paused. _Yes, I suppose. Would you like me to just relay what you say?_

_Yeah._

“Dean?”

“What.” Dean's voice was flat.

“Jimmy wants to talk to you.”

Dean sat up and turned to Cas. “What?”

“He wants me to relay to you what he says.”

“Uh, I guess. Go ahead, I’m listening.” Dean looked nervous.

_Tell him hello, and I’m sorry for surprising him._

“Hey, dude, it’s your body. I should have known you were still in there. I wouldn’t have made a move if I knew.”

_Tell him it’s all right. I knew he wouldn’t if he knew I was here, but I’m fine with it._

“Just because you’re a good guy and want Cas to be happy doesn’t mean it’s ok to just... _use_ your body like this, Jimmy. Doesn’t feel right, you know?”

_Tell him... tell him it’s okay, that I really don’t mind. That I... that it’s been so long since I felt anything good in this body that I was enjoying the sensations._

Dean laughed, looking conflicted. “Glad I could provide something good, at least.” He sighed. “But I don’t know if I can do this, knowing you’re trapped in there and not here because you want to be.” A smirk broke his frown. “It’s not like this is my first threesome, after all.” He looked thoughtful. “Just my first with only two bodies, I guess.”

“Jimmy thinks you’re funny,” said Cas. “He’s laughing.”

Dean smiled, then turned serious again. “Jimmy... are you sure you’re ok with this?”

 _I am._ Jimmy smiled sadly. _I’ve been in Cas’s head watching him love you for so long that sometimes I think I might love you too._

Something flitted across Dean’s face, then cleared and he slowly reached a hand out to Cas. “Then let’s try this out.” He ran his hand down their side, stroking gently, as his voice lowered. “Jimmy and I will teach you what to do, Cas. Don’t you worry ‘bout a thing.”

Cas shivered, muscles tensing and relaxing, as Dean’s hand drifted across his hip, thumb grazing the crease between thigh and groin.

_Get closer together, Castiel. You want to touch him, don’t you?_

_I... I do. Where should I touch?_ Asked Cas, scooting closer to Dean until their bodies were inches apart.

_You had the right idea before when you were grabbing his ass. Did you like that?_

Cas reached a hand around Dean’s back and pulled at his boxers, slipping his hand underneath and stroking down his crack. Dean twisted closer, hands closing convulsively on Cas’s hip. 

 _If you want to explore Dean a while, I’m sure he won’t mind._ Jimmy told Cas. _Push him until he rolls on his back, then straddle his hips._

Cas eased Dean on his back.

_Wait, take his clothes off first. I- We want to see his body, right?_

Wordlessly Cas pulled at Dean’s shirt, then his boxers, until Dean raised himself up and slid them both off, leaving him naked on the bed.

“Jimmy telling you what to do, Cas? He telling you what he wants?” Dean’s eyes were dark, pupils dilated so far that the green was just a hair's width around the rim. His cheeks were flushed, his lips parted, his breath heavy.

“He wants to look at you, Dean. He thinks you’re beautiful,” murmured Cas. He ran a hand down Dean’s chest, stroking lightly. “And so do I.”

Dean blushed further, flush spreading down his chest.

 _Use our mouth on him, Castiel. Play with his nipples._ Cas bent his head, pressing his body flush to Dean’s, and ran his tongue across the ridge of a nipple. Dean’s body jerked. Jimmy felt a spurt of wetness against his stomach and smirked. Their own cock was swelling quickly, pressed against Dean’s thigh. _Slide your hand down, okay? Touch his thighs and stomach, but don’t touch his cock. Not yet._ Dean’s hands buried themselves in Cas’s hair as he threw his head back. moaning.

Jimmy smiled, planning his next move. He’d always prided himself on being a great lover. He may have never given a blowjob, but he’d received enough to have a pretty good idea of the technique.

_Ok, Castiel, time to get out the big guns._

_What? I don’t have any firearms. Dean-_

_It’s an idiom. It- Nevermind._ Jimmy sighed and got back on track. _You ever watched someone get a blowjob before?_

Jimmy felt Cas shift uncomfortably in their head. _I have._ An image popped up, too vibrant to repress, of Dean in an alleyway, head thrown back as it was now, a dark head buried in his groin. _I didn’t realize it was a private moment until it was too late._

“Hey guys?” Dean asked, eyes twinkling. “You just gonna chat all day, or you gonna include me in this?”

“I’m sorry, Dean. Jimmy is instructing me on the proper technique for oral sex.”

Dean’s head thumped back as he let out what may have been a whimper. “All right then. Um, carry on.”

Jimmy was enjoying himself more than he had in years. He directed Cas to slide further down, pressing kisses up Dean’s inner thighs and lapping at his balls, before finally turning their attention to his cock. They licked a stripe up his shaft slowly, circling the tip with their tongue as Dean writhed beneath them, thrusting against their restraining hands on his hips. 

 _Do angels have gag reflexes, Castiel?_ asked Jimmy. _I know some things are different with my body since you came into it_

 _I suppose we’ll find out,_ replied Cas, sliding his mouth over Dean’s cock and taking it all into his throat. _It would seem the answer is no._

Jimmy was speechless for a moment, then got control of himself and continued the instructions as Dean moaned loudly. _Bob your head up and down, sucking a little. Run your tongue over the head when you get there-yeah, just like that._ Cas hummed his pleasure, and Dean nearly bucked off the bed.

“Cas, hold on, you gotta stop. I don’t want to come yet, okay?” Dean pulled at their shoulders, and Cas drew back with a wet pop. They slid up against Dean, and both moaned (though only Cas could hear Jimmy) as Dean’s hand closed around their cock.

“How you guys doing?” Dean asked, stroking slowly. “Jimmy, you good in there?”

“He says he’s more than good, and don’t stop,” panted Cas. “I agree.”

“I got a better idea.” Dean flipped them, pressing their bodies together so his cock rested in the crook of Cas’s hip and Cas’s cock pressed against Dean’s belly. Both were slicked by precome and saliva and Cas whimpered at the friction. Dean slid against him in a long stroke and all three of them groaned.

“Just hold still, Cas. I’m gonna make you feel so good,” said Dean, holding Cas by the ass and rutting against him.

_Jimmy, these sensations... I don’t know if I can stand them!_

_It’s good, though, right?_

_It’s- yes- I-_

Both fell silent inside their minds as the wave crested. Cas writhed against Dean, whispering his name, and Jimmy’s, and prayers all mingled together as he came. Dean followed a moment later, collapsing on top of them.

Cas turned his head and, without any prompting from Jimmy, pressed a kiss to Dean’s temple. He ran his hands down Dean’s muscular back and smiled. “Thank you, Dean.”

_Thank you, Jimmy._

Jimmy gave a blissed-out chuckle. _This isn’t usually something you thank someone for, you know._

 _Why not? It seems like an appropriate response._ Cas’s mental voice was soft, slurred, as he drifted closer to sleep.

_You know, it doesn’t really matter. Tell Dean thank you from me too, I guess._

\-----

The next time they woke, they were alone, clean, pleasantly sore and under a blanket. Cas lay still for a moment, then pushed the blanket away and stood.

The next thing Jimmy knew they were on the floor, head pounding, body weak and minds confused.

 _Castiel! What happened? Are you all right?_ If he had a head, he would be shaking it to clear it. As it was, he just tried to focus on the slivers of light creeping in their cracked eyes.

 _I..._ Cas’s voice was fuzzy, as if coming from a great distance. _I don’t know. I remember waking up, and then being here on the floor._ His voice grew stronger. _And my head hurts. Are you all right?_

Jimmy took stock. _My head’s not feeling great either, and I’m pretty dizzy. Maybe we just stood up too fast? We should go drink some water, at least._

Cas made a noise that made it clear what he thought about humans and their constant need to eat and drink, and stood shakily. He started towards the door.

_Aren’t you forgetting something?_

_What. What else does this body need._

_Um. Pants?_

Jimmy could feel Cas’s eyes roll. _Pants._ He turned, reaching for his battered slacks, when he saw the pile of clothes Dean had left outside the door the night before.

_I know you’re fed up with human things, but, uh... we could really use a shower before seeing to anyone today. We’re still pretty dirty from the trip and we’ve got... well, we’re kind of covered in dried semen._

Cas didn’t reply, just grabbed the towel Dean had laid over the chair and stomped out of the room, shutting the door a little harder than was really necessary.

Jimmy felt a little bad for laughing at the petulant angel, but, listening the angel’s half-formed stream of mental profanity at the indignity of being human, he really couldn’t help it.

\-----

Freshly showered, shampooed and dried despite Castiel’s complaints and general annoyance, they headed back to the room and dressed. Cas calmed slightly, mood improving, when he pulled the shirt over their shoulders and noticed that it smelled like Dean. This time, he shut the door gently as they headed toward the kitchen and the smell of food.

Dean stood in the kitchen, back to the door. He was singing quietly under his breath and stirring something in a pan on the stove.

_I recognize that music. Dean has played it on the car radio._

_Hey, you're finally starting to recognize Dean's music! He'll be glad to hear that._

Cas smiled and stepped into the kitchen. "Hello, Dean." 

Dean jumped, whacking his head on a cabinet. "Jesus, Cas! You're just as sneaky without your angel mojo as you are with it! Don't sneak up on a guy like that."

Cas ignored the comment and leaned closer. "My body needs food, apparently."

Dean laughed. "Yeah, I figured. Makin' eggs and bacon. Traditional morning after food." His voice grew quieter and a smile crinkled his eyes. "Good morning, by the way." He leaned in, hesitantly, and when Cas didn't pull away he pressed a kiss to their lips. "Did you sleep okay?"

_Kiss him back!_

Cas wrapped his hands around the back of Dean's neck and pulled him back in for a deeper, longer kiss, hands drifting down to Dean's back and body pressing against his. Finally, he pulled away slightly. "Yes, I did."

Dean blinked, then grinned. "Good. Now let me finish breakfast and then you can have me all to yourself." He pressed another kiss to Cas's lips, slipped a hand down his sweats, squeezed his ass, and was about to pull away when-

"Oh my god!" Sam stumbled back into the hallway. "Um. Sorry, guys! I didn't- I- what are you doing?"

Dean's embarrassment had faded by the end of Sam's sputtering and he smirked. "What does it look like we're doing, Sammy? We're makin’ breakfast." As if to prove his point, he pulled his hand from Cas's pants, spun around and picked up the spatula nonchalantly. "Bacon will be done in ten. And there's some turkey bacon in there for the ladies."

Sam shot him a rude look. Apparently his speechlessness didn’t extend to expressions.

Jimmy sat back to watch the exchange, grinning in his little corner of Cas's head. This day was looking up.

\-----

The four of them finished off two pounds of bacon and nearly a dozen eggs before Dean declared Sam and Kevin official dishwashers and retreated to the library. Cas stood to follow them and staggered. Jimmy felt his vision grey and his head pound, and Cas grabbed ahold of Dean's arm to steady himself.

“Whoa, Cas! Everything all right there, buddy?”

Excruciating pain filled Jimmy’s mind. He felt squeezed, pressed close against Cas, as if wrapped in a knot that was slowly drawing tighter.

“Cas!” Dean’s voice was faint. “Cas, c’mon, Cas. Don’t do this!” Jimmy slowly came back to himself, feeling Cas do the same. They each fled to their corners of the space, shaking.

_Okay, Castiel, what is going on?_

_I... I don’t know._

The world slowly came back into focus, beginning with Dean’s worried eyes inches from their face. 

“Cas?” His face cleared slightly. “Cas, you with me?”

“Yes. I’m here.” Cas shook his head gently to clear it .

“What the Hell just happened, man? You just dropped!”

“I don’t know. But it’s the second time this morning, and it was worse this time.”

Dean leaned back against the counter, arm still wrapped around Cas’s waist, holding them close to his side. “Ok. We’ll figure this out.” A sudden thought struck him. “Jimmy? You ok in there too, dude?”

_Tell him I’m fine, just a little shaky. And thanks for the concern._

“Good. Let’s head into the library and see if we can dig anything up. This has gotta be some sort of side effect of falling, right?” He lead the way through the bunker.

_Castiel? Has an angel ever fallen while in a vessel before? You said Anna fell to Earth and was born as a human, and Lucifer was sent straight to Hell, right? Maybe... maybe we’re just not meant to both be in here._

Cas stopped dead in the hallway. _You may be right._ He shook his head and relayed Jimmy’s thoughts to Dean, who nodded grimly at Cas’s assessment. _We will find a solution._ Cas said, obviously trying for comforting, but his worry showed through. This wasn’t something anyone had expected.

Jimmy wasn’t so sure they would.

\------

The research confirmed what they already knew was true. Two souls could not exist in one body for long. Demons could do it only because their souls had lost parts along the way, and even then long-term hosts didn’t fare well. Angels could do it because their grace wasn’t truly a soul. It didn’t fill the same spaces as a human (or former human, in a demon’s case) soul would, apparently. There was no data on angels falling while in human bodies, because as far as they could tell, Jimmy had been right. The situation he and Cas had found themselves in was unprecedented.

To make matters worse, in the eight hours they’d been researching they’d had two more attacks. It seemed they were getting closer together, and each one left Cas and Jimmy more and more shaken and disoriented for longer periods of time.

They’d discovered various mentions of a spell that could separate one soul from a body while leaving the other in books from Rome and Byzantium, but had not found the actual spell anywhere. This was made more difficult by the fact that, of the four of them, only Cas spoke the Greek that the Byzantine books were written in. Each had piles of books of spells and indices in languages they spoke, looking for any reference.

The only comfort Jimmy and Cas were drawing from the situation was that Dean had handed them a book, them plopped down on the couch beside them, their sides pressed together from shoulder to knee. “I’ll keep you company over here,” he had said gruffly. Sam had raised an eyebrow, but had said nothing.

The spell’s description had made it clear that the less powerful soul had to be sent to Heaven, or both would be destroyed. Jimmy knew what that meant, and tried to quell the anger that rose in him. He didn’t deserve this; he’d been faithful to God, to his wife, to everything he had been taught would bring him rewards, and yet here he was, about to give what was left of his life to a fallen angel. But at least in Heaven he’d see his wife and his daughter again some day. And if he recalled correctly, somewhere up there was a man named Ash who’d found a way to watch Earth. Maybe he could find him, and maybe he could still watch his daughter grow up.

After Jimmy and Cas had collapsed twice, writhing on the couch in pain, Dean had decided that he couldn’t take sitting and researching without getting closer to their goal for any longer. He slammed his book shut, saying, “This is ridiculous. Cas, you guys were fine when you were asleep, right? Maybe you should-”

“Hang on, Dean!” Sam interrupted, holding the book he had been reading aloft. “I think I might have it!”

Dean, Cas and Kevin all jumped up, hurrying to gather around the book Sam held. _“Invocatio ad mittendum animum in caelum_ ,” read Dean, frowning as he thought back to Latin lessons as a child, “spell to send a soul to the sky?”

“That’s an accurate translation,” said Cas, frowning at the page. “Some of these ingredients are rare. Will we be able to find them in time?”

Dean smirked. “I never gave you the tour, did I? We’ve got a really awesome pantry.”

\-----

They split up to find the ingredients spread throughout the bunker.

Cas and Jimmy had the most crucial ingredient, and arguably the hardest. The spell called for something that called to the soul as an anchor to pull the right one out. They’d sat for a while, thinking on it.

_What do you feel defines your soul, Jimmy?_

_I don’t know._ Jimmy gave a sardonic chuckle. _Six years ago I would have said my faith, but..._

Cas smiled back, just as sadly. _Faith is for those who don’t have proof._

 _My love for my family  is what I think about most._ Jimmy sighed, tears pricking in their shared eyes. _Everything I do with you, Castiel, is to keep them safe._ He took a shuddering breath that Cas echoed in their physical body.

Cas pulled the wallet from Jimmy’s pocket and flipped to the portrait of the Novaks. _Is this photograph the one to use?_

Jimmy stared at the picture. He and Amelia stood, arms around each other, smiles so wide their eyes were almost hidden. Claire sat on a stool between them, grinning, showing off a missing front tooth.

He remembered that day so clearly when he looked at the photo.

Claire hadn’t wanted to go - she’d been 7, just hitting the very start of her pre-teen rebellion, and didn’t want to put on the ruffled dress Amelia had bought. She’d thrown a tantrum, refusing to take off her Beauty and the Beast t-shirt, until Amelia had pointed out that sometimes Belle got dressed up for special occasions, too. Claire had perked up, wiped her tears, changed into her yellow dress and refused to answer to anything but Belle for the rest of the day.

When they’d gotten to the front of the line, the photographer had set them up, then asked Claire, “So you’re Belle today, huh? Does that make your mom or your dad the Beast?” 

They’d all laughed, and that’s when the photo had been taken.

_Yeah. Yeah, that will work._

\----- 

An hour later, the group reconvened in one of the empty rooms of the bunker with their respective items. Sam had a strand of golden fleece, two small dried toads and a half-gallon of olive oil. To this pile Kevin added Dead Sea mud, four pearls, a bronze Roman coin and three sun-dried tomatoes. Dean brought a large chunk of flint, a handful of poppy seeds, and, reluctantly, two angel feathers that Cas watched out of the corner of his eyes wistfully.

Sam mixed the various ingredients, wincing as the pearls and coin were dented and crushed by the mortar and pestle. Dean held the book in one hand, chanting the spell, while the other arm wrapped around Cas’s shoulders tightly.

Cas clutched the photo tightly, trying not to crease it.

 _Jimmy, I just wanted to say..._ Cas paused, collecting himself. _Thank you. For everything you’ve given me._

_Don’t waste it, Castiel. Don’t waste this body I’m giving you._

_I won’t._

_Seriously. You... you be happy, ok?_

_I will try._ Cas glanced at Dean.

_Don’t run away from this. He makes you happy. You're both better together._

_I’m sorry for everything, Jimmy._

Jimmy laughed, though it was halfway to a sob. _It wasn’t what I’d planned for my life, that’s for sure._ He paused. _But I got to be a part of something important. I helped save the world. Not everybody gets to do that._

_And in Heaven you will finally get the rest you’ve earned._

_Maybe._ A thought sparked in Jimmy’s mind. _Or... maybe I’ll try and help you from the other side._

_What do you mean?_

_Remember when you told me about Ash, the hunter in Heaven who hacked it so he could move from place to place?_

_Yes; that caused all manner of problems. It took many angels to fix them._

_Well, aren’t problems kind of what we want now?_

Cas’s eyes widened.

_I’m going to get up there, and find Ash. I’m going to tell him about what’s been going on with Metatron and Naomi and you and the Winchesters. We’re gonna find Bobby and Ellen and Jo and even Mrs. Tran and we will try and sabotage Metatron from the inside._

His voice faded a little, and Dean pulled the photo from Cas’s still hands, passing it to Sam, who set it on top of the gunk in the bowl.

 _We’ll see each other again, Castiel. I promise you. If not soon, then when you die as a human some day._ His voice was even fainter as Cas sagged, held up only by Dean’s arm. _But don’t make that too soon._ He was gone.

Dean’s chanting finished and a crack of thunder rumbled through the bunker. Tears rolled down Cas’s face as his mind exploded into the space Jimmy had occupied. Images flashed across his mind’s eye of his life since he was created - the garden of Eden, the Tower of Babel, a butterfly he once rescued from a spider’s web; they flashed past him in a rush.

And then-

Silence.

This time when he called out, no voice answered. This time, he was truly alone.

“Cas! Cas, are you there? Answer me, man!” Frantic hands tugged at him, easing him down onto the floor. 

He slowly came to, tears still flowing. His vision filled with a pair of frantic green eyes staring down at him, and he smiled. 

Maybe he wasn’t completely alone. He took Jimmy’s advice and reached up to pull Dean down for a brief kiss. There would be time to tell Dean and Sam Jimmy’s plan later. Right now, he was going to make the most of this human life.

He pulled back, scooting into a sitting position, and smiled at the three worried faces staring down at him, but he only had eyes for one.

“Hello, Dean.”


	2. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimmy, Ash and Pamela gather the forces of Heaven.

Ash sat at the bar, frowning at the monitor. Something was different in Heaven. The usual Angel Radio channels had gone silent and he hadn’t seen any movement across the barrier after the giant explosion of a few days earlier.

Pam wandered in, holding two beers and a record, and he turned to her. “Any idea what’s goin’ on?” He caught the beer she tossed him and chugged half, nodding his thanks.

“I got nothing. And no one else seems to know, either.” She hopped up to sit on the bar. “Ellen’s off visiting Bobby and Rufus, and Jo’s gone who-knows-where. Anybody else wander in while I’ve been gone?”

“Uh, that FBI agent I used to throw off Sam and Dean's trail. Victor, says his name is, and he was working with the Winchesters when he died. Chick named Sarah. Says she knew Sam and Dean a while back and that Crowley killed her to piss them off. Linda Tran; her son’s some kind of prophet working with the Winchesters, I guess, and Crowley got her too. Whooo, she's real pissed about that. And Sam’s old girlfriend Jess; says she got done in by something back when Sam was in college.”

Pam blew out a breath. “Jesus. Sucks to know the Winchesters if you’re a chick, that's for sure.”

Ash raised his beer in salute and downed the rest, reaching under the bar for another.

The door slammed and they both spun. “Is one of you Ash?” asked the man in a trenchcoat and suit who stood in the doorway.

Ash stood, sweeping his hair back. “Yeah, I’m Ash. But people up here call me Dr. Badass. It's on the sign." He pointed behind the bar. "And you are?”

Using his chatter as a distraction, Pam slid next to him, angel sword in hand.

“Jimmy Novak,” said the man, pulling his tie off and stuffing it in a pocket. “And I’ve been looking for you.”

“Yeah?” said Pam, still ready with the sword, “and why’s that?”

“I need your help to fix Heaven.”

\-----

The three sat at a table, beers in hand.

“So there’s just one angel dude up here right now?” Ash leaned back in his chair. “Guess that’s why the scanner went dark.”

“Yeah, and now Earth is covered in fallen angels. It’s a mess down there, and the Winchesters can’t solve it without someone on the inside up here. Castiel was their ticket in, and now...”

Pam grinned. “Dean ever figure out his feelings there?” she laughed. “The look on that boy’s face when he talked about his angel... it woulda been funny if it weren’t so damn sad.”

Jimmy smiled back. “Yeah, believe me, they figured it out.”

Pam leaned forward, eyes glinting. “Got something to share with the class?”

Jimmy’s smile just widened for a moment, then he shook his head and continued. ”Anyway, they need you guys to gather up everyone and figure out a way to help them get rid of Metatron. Hopefully, we can either pull the angels back up here, or kick Metatron down to Earth for them to deal with.”

“Awesome.” Ash stood, tossing his mane. “Pam, start rounding up the troops. Team Badass meeting at the Roadhouse once they’re all here. I’ll send out the Ash-signal and let them know to be ready.”

\-----

The group that gathered in the Roadhouse a few hours later was a pretty diverse one, Jimmy thought, all brought together by one set of brothers. If Sam and Dean could see this meeting, he thought, they would realize they had one hell of a family. Pam and Ash were there, of course. And Bobby, Linda, Ellen and Jo he knew from his time with Castiel. Sarah and Jess he’d heard about from Sam and Dean, and Rufus and Karen he knew from Bobby’s stories. There were a few he didn’t know; Ellen’s husband Bill, for one, or Henry Winchester, John’s father, and the group of Men of Letters he’d brought.

All in all, it was about twenty people who gathered around the bar, exchanging greetings.

Ash vaulted up on the pool table, swaying, and yelled, “Welcome to team Badass, everybody!”

The room quieted, except for Ellen’s loud snort. Ash gave her a bleary look, then continued. “We got a mission straight from the Winchesters, via Jimmy here-” he pointed, and Jimmy waved, “-to get Heaven back in working order. You’ve all heard what’s going on. We got a rogue angel running things and Sam and Dean need him down or out.” He glanced around the assembled crowd. “Any bright ideas on how to do it?”

A buzz of conversation started up, and Ash grabbed his chalk and started writing.

Jimmy looked around as well at the hunters, psychics, academics and family members assembled. He’d talked a big game to Cas when he’d been thrown from his body, but when he reached his Heaven and Claire had wrapped her arms around him, he’d almost decided it wasn’t worth it.

But looking at the group, who were already starting to come up with ideas and plans, he thought that this just might work. And then he could finally sit back and enjoy Heaven, knowing he’d done his part to save the world one last time.

**Author's Note:**

> Warning for character death:
> 
> Jimmy is sent to Heaven in this, which is sort of dying, but he's just as badass up there as he was down here!


End file.
